Accepting Help.

This isn’t just about making, it’s also about life in general. But making provides an easy parallel to the rest of life, and it’s what this blog is about, so…

Something that’s hard for many of us dealing with any type of disability and/or neurodivergence, is asking for or accepting help. The idea instilled in all of us by an inherently ableist, capitalist society, is that independence is, first of all, achievable, and secondly, desirable.

The flaw in this concept is that none of us are truly independent. The definition of independence is redefined and twisted to suit the ideals that will support the society in which we live. For example, we think of rich people as independent. But they are as dependent as we all are, on other people and on supportive institutions. No amount of money will remove your appendix when you need it to; you need medical personnel. To obtain your food, unless you grow, harvest, prepare and cook everything you eat, you need quite a few people to do the work involved (and you might notice that the people who keep us fed are people many of these rich people look down on, since they are underpaid despite being vital to society — I can think of at least one rich, orange arsebiscuit who could do with being exiled from all human communities at once). It is a simple fact that in our society, we are largely interdependent on one another.

Needing help is not a character flaw. Accepting help is not the same as taking advantage. And yet, as disabled people, we are taught (insiduously, mostly) that needing accommodations or needing assistance is somehow a cheat code.

So I’m just here to remind everyone who reads this (all 3 people, on a good day, so maybe I’m reminding myself more than anyone else) that accommodations are meant to level the playing field (even though they fall woefully short in almost all cases). They’re not unfair. You aren’t unfair for needing and/or using them.

Helping each other is what makes humanity so great. It isn’t what makes us unique, sure… But it is what makes us worthwhile.

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